Extended family visits & key family contact in care home

I propose an extension of the current care home visiting (which is widely varied between different councils/care providers). There have been so many negative stories about how loved ones have deteriorated and even passed away after all family contact was removed. Window visiting was even limited and families were turned away without any notice. Obviously these care settings are 'home' for their residents and I therefore fully understand the need to keep them as safe as possible in line with the covid guidelines. I also understand the need for restrictions for visiting but I am really struggling to question whether the precautions and safety measures outweigh the physical and mental damage it is causing to both residents and their families. I know, both on a personal level and from talking to others in similar situation that they have noticed a huge physical/cognitive decline in their relatives since lock down started in March. However, my concern is also for the relatives that are unable to physically visit/see their loved ones but simply see them fading away through occasional social media posts or second hand from other family members and how damaging this is for their mental health. Those with any level of capacity were not asked what they wanted to happen but simply told that their families were no longer allowed in & those without capacity were left confused and upset due a change in routine and a lack of physical contact - either way seems inhumane and a complete lack of rights for elderly people. I feel this needs changed before more families have to suffer the guilt/heartbroken and confused that so many already have.I believe extended families (including children) should be allowed to visit, even through the window, to help our loved ones understand that they have not been neglected. This generation deserve more than to die of heartbreak and loneliness.

Why the contribution is important

I truly believe that the elderly generation have been treated unfairly by being completely cut off from families and friends. They have supposedly invested in technology to allow communication but the majority of this generation do not understand mobiles let alone video Phone calls. Everyone else has started getting back to normal - we can go for meals, to the shops, to work, to schools; footballers can play games & celebrities can make bubbles to allow reality TV to continue yet we can't even visit our loved ones at a distance? I work in the NHS and have heard several stories of heartbreak from families, relatives and colleagues alike. I work in an area where people are usually in for 48-72 hours and yet they are allowed a visitor for 1 hour a day. In care homes they have been locked away for 6 months and are only allowed a visitor for half an hour a week?! It needs to be changed. All these measures were put in place to help keep them safe and all that has been achieved is slightly lower numbers, a whole lot of upset, lonlieness, a generation left feeling abandoned and even dying from heartbreak. What about their rights to choose/ to be loved?

by SLawson90 on October 05, 2020 at 08:42PM

Current Rating

Average rating: 4.7
Based on: 27 votes


  • Posted by dodo1956 October 05, 2020 at 23:58

    Care home residents are losing the will to live due to lack of contact with loved ones. The guidance is being extended to allow touch and longer visiting but the problem is that not all care homes are following the guidance leaving a lot of families totally devastated - something needs to be done quickly to sort this
  • Posted by Karenmcd October 06, 2020 at 07:50

    Families must to be allowed to visit their LO in care home settings, with the appropriate PPE worn. Ive not been able to visit my mum indoors for 7 months to keep her and the other residents safe yet a bank worker goes in to do a shift and takes with them COVID, I'm now banned from the home for 28 days or longer till they are COVID free. If this is down to insurance then the government need to sort this out asap.
  • Posted by Cookie2 October 06, 2020 at 12:55

    So difficult to watch my mum and other care home residents deteriorate without contact from their families. Mum had dementia and does not understand why I cannot take her out as I used to do. The current situation is cruel beyond belief not only to residents but relatives as well.
  • Posted by Carolv October 06, 2020 at 17:54

    Care Home residents and their relatives are suffering through lack of meaningful contact. There has to be a way to allow physical contact between residents and their loved ones. My Mum has dementia and she has deteriorated both physically and mentally during this lockdown.
  • Posted by Samlivingston October 06, 2020 at 19:27

    This is a dreadful situation, where loved ones are incarcerated because they are old. Treating the elderly and vulnerable like criminals. Family time is a necessity for all health needs. Inhumane and cruel treatment cannot continue
  • Posted by JaneM October 07, 2020 at 19:42

    Fully support improvements for people in care homes and long term in hospitals - needs to be supported by testing and safe systems.
  • Posted by MooritCheviot October 08, 2020 at 21:00

    Elderly need right to chose their protection level. Even if this means segregating care homes into high and low risk, just as sheltered housing can be standard, or enhanced. Remember average 'stay' (ie life expectancy!) in a nursing home is TWO YEARS. It is unlikely that a vaccine will be fully rolled out two years from March 2020.
  • Posted by rationalone October 10, 2020 at 11:14

    Cutting care home residents off from their families is cruel. My daughter asked me recently if I thought her Gran would die before she saw her again. Heartbreaking all round.
  • Posted by FiScot October 11, 2020 at 19:27

    My mother is in a care home and I was allowed to visit every day recently as she was classed as being in an "end of life" classification. I was called out twice as she as thought to be dying. She has slightly improved physically so no longer allowed visits at her bedside. How was this assessment made? She could die tomorrow or the next day. Her human rights to choose whether to expose herself to risk are taken away. Her mental health has not been assessed. She wants to take her own life but is unable to do so. She used to stockpile her medicine to take in such a situation but now is too ill to do that. She can't hear on the phone so we have gone from daily contact to nothing. I can't even write any more on this . . . .
  • Posted by Eyesonthepies October 11, 2020 at 21:43

    There is a fine line between keeping people physically safe and keeping people sane. Not being allowed to touch my 80 year old motheris so hard. The carer could adjust her blanket when it fell, but i couldnt....i would say i waslow risk. I had same ppe as the staff member,and i probably had less contact with other people than the carer does. Love, touch, family, care and support are important. Its not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years.
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