Contact for non-cohabiting partners

I would make a plea on behalf of partners who do not live together. There has been talk of allowing 'bubbles' of contact which to me has read as quite ill defined and open to exploitation for people who wish to have large scale gatherings. However, as someone experiencing lockdown in a single household as my partner lives 20 miles away, this experience is becoming increasingly isolating and impactful on both or my mental health. Please can consideration be given to how 1:1 contact for partners who do not live together might be accommodated. I have seen nothing in any of the discussion around the easing of restrictions that would seem to facilitate this.

Why the contribution is important

There is much talk of 'household' contact and 'family' contact but these definitions to not adequately represent the myriad different types of relationship ties that exist in a country with a complex social structure such as Scotland. Can we please try and not be quite so one dimensional when reflecting on the types of relationship status that must be taken into consideration in a diverse population when trying to provide some respite from the isolation of lockdown.

by ALISONP on May 05, 2020 at 04:38PM

Current Rating

Average rating: 4.8
Based on: 49 votes


  • Posted by wilsm24 May 05, 2020 at 16:50

    I am too in a situation like this, and we are both loving alone working from home, self isolation, adding to mental health struggles for me. There needs to be some review of this situation.
  • Posted by Denzilene May 05, 2020 at 17:03

    In a scenario where partners are not cohabiting but each strictly following the governments lockdown , social distancing , exercise and hand washing regimes within their own house why can they not be allowed to meet? How can that be any different, in terms of risk to each other and to the NHS, to if they were cohabiting. Please relax the rules to allow this to happen.
  • Posted by aishagual May 05, 2020 at 17:32

    I too would implore this area is given more in-depth consideration . The current situation is not sustainable and cruel . My daughter has long-standing and significant mental health issues . Her partner is an important part of her support network however she does not co-habit with him and neither is in a position to do so .
    The other issue is many couples in this situation are highly likely to begin to break lockdown rule in this area in particular younger adults if this rule is not altered . A persons human rights need to be considered . Please simply refer to Maslows hierarchy of need !
  • Posted by ADman May 05, 2020 at 17:33

    This is the most important matter to me at this point in time - meeting my fiancé. She lives in England and I'm in Scotland, and not being able to drive to meet her for weeks is horrendous for my mental health.
  • Posted by eileencummings May 05, 2020 at 17:43

    Agreed. This needs to be reviewed. Well defined contact via named 'social bubbles' addresses the HWB need for various people isolating alone for various reasons and allows some Govt control/direction as required.
  • Posted by BruceE May 05, 2020 at 19:21

    I agree this needs to be reviewed and allowance made for this situation. Responsible adults are able to ensure that appropriate measures are taken to minimise the risk of spreading infection without over prescriptive legislation. Not having allowance for this situation risks losing wider support of this group of people.
  • Posted by Milliecat50 May 06, 2020 at 09:49

    I agree - as part of a blended family I live 25 miles from partner, with my son who has autism. I’m struggling with being apart. And I’ll be honest - no one mentions the ‘sex’ word - but that is the jam in the relationship sandwich ( generally but not always ) Partners living apart creates difficulties that in normal days would be resolved with sone intimate loving. This balm is not available so communications can become a bit tense and more pressure out in then. What we need is the human touch.

    Surely by bubbling up the result would mean happier partners and an easier less emotionally stressful lockdown.
  • Posted by Jayli May 06, 2020 at 14:07

    This definitely needs to be addressed - there has been no mention in any of the paperwork about couples who do not live together and it greatly concerns me as someone who lives alone, rurally and is 60 miles from their partner.

    If we could be allowed to spend time together, just the 2 of us, in one of our homes and have the authorisation to travel between, it would make a huge difference to the mental health of us both. We miss each other greatly and the stress of being apart as well as the entire lockdown situation is very difficult mentally. I do not see the difference between 2 people who live together and follow all the guidelines, and 2 people who live in separate homes and follow the guidelines, spending time together as a couple.
  • Posted by BKa19 May 10, 2020 at 21:24

    I totally agree with all of these. Not all of us are able to move in with our partners. If you live in two separate households alone, there is no difference risk wise with seeing each other than living together. I really hope that this can be reviewed.

    This is personally really affecting my health and is a main source of stress on top of worry about family members and my job. Please please review this
  • Posted by Cveevers May 10, 2020 at 22:56

    Totally agree. I am in the same situation as my partner lives 15 miles away and it is becoming increasingly stressful for us. We both work from home with our children who are also missing each other as we usually spend every weekend together. It feels more like the breakdown of a family rather than a growing blended one.
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