Nursing and care homes: visits from family and loved ones
Completely understand that the situation in care homes is dire at present. However, difficult as it is, we need to look at ways to facilitate short periods of contact. Otherwise many older people will die, miserable and alone having never seen their family again. If they do not die from covid, then it will be due to medical conditions related to stress and bereavement. My mum is 86 in an (excellent) nursing home. Before lockdown she had some level of "cognitive impairement" This has accelerated rapidly since lockdown. She tries to be very brave but cries a lot and is very anxious. She says she can't go on without seeing my dad again, and her daughters and this breaks all of our hearts. Her voice needs to be expressed. She feels that she has "had her life" she isn't afraid of dying, she just wants to see us again even if it means getting ill. She knows that she has very good care (staff are so kind and amazing) but sometimes she feels that "she is in a prison yet has done nothing wrong"
I have a sister who lives in Denmark. Close family there are being allowed to see their loved ones outside in the garden, safely organsised and carefully managed. This decision was in part due to their very clever prime minister eventually being persuaded that this was the right thing to do by a group of eminent psychiatrists.
I appreciate that this is not the right time, but some family's do not have much time left. Please, please will you consider how this could be achieved and start planning now?
I have a sister who lives in Denmark. Close family there are being allowed to see their loved ones outside in the garden, safely organsised and carefully managed. This decision was in part due to their very clever prime minister eventually being persuaded that this was the right thing to do by a group of eminent psychiatrists.
I appreciate that this is not the right time, but some family's do not have much time left. Please, please will you consider how this could be achieved and start planning now?
Why the contribution is important
For the mental health of both the elderly residents of care homes and their families who are denied access to them at this difficult and testing time. The pressures we all feel at the moment are exacerbated by not being able to see our loved ones. At times it feels like cruelty.
by pauline on May 06, 2020 at 08:05PM
Posted by GillHain May 06, 2020 at 21:30
Important so families can come to acceptance of their love ones situations and do right by them as they understand it.
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Posted by catmac14 May 06, 2020 at 21:51
My mums home have had two outbreaks now of coronavirus (which must be being brought in by staff as no residents have been allowed visitors since 15th march, 7 weeks ago). My mum has advanced dementia and been in isolation in her room for at least 5 weeks now. While I understand the reasons for this, then it hasn't worked. The virus is still there and staff and residents are still struggling to get tested. I find this level of isolation totally unacceptable now and we must find a way to let residents have contact with their families again.
I feel I pose less risk of spreading the virus as many of the carers work for several care homes. I live with one other person and am not working so I should be minimal risk in seeing mum.
I know this isn't an easy fix, but as the original plan hasn't really worked I think we owe it to our care home residents to let them see family again as safely as possible.
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Posted by Elena May 06, 2020 at 21:51
I understand that if one person in a care home gets the virus, it will be very difficult to contain - especially if there are any wanderers in the home who can sometimes be difficult to keep from entering other rooms.. but by the same token, many of these elderly don't have much time left and while half a year with no visits seems like nothing to the young and healthy, to them that could be all the time they have left and they shouldn't have to spend that isolated from family.
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Posted by HealthyCitizen May 07, 2020 at 06:32
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Posted by jamiecuillin May 07, 2020 at 16:15
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Posted by highlandgal May 08, 2020 at 14:32
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Posted by rossb May 08, 2020 at 17:25
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Posted by Emax2020 May 09, 2020 at 13:39
No one knows for sure if residents and staff had the virus in early April as no one was being tested unless they were sent to hospital for some other reason...then presumably to protect the nhs a test was done. Now they would appear to have another outbreak a month later.
If stoping relatives visiting doesn’t stop the virus there is no point to this rule. My mum who is in the later stages of dementia sits alone in her room with no visitors. This is inhumane. Prisoners at least get some outdoor time! Mums care home make no effort to get her outside. I guess they are more than busy and also their focus is on physical safety, something they have been unable to provide anyway. The guidelines need to be changed to allow family visits in some shape or form as the current situation makes no sense.
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Posted by JRalston May 10, 2020 at 13:12
Many care homes, throughout Scotland, locked down earlier than advised for the general population. Residents have throughout the past 9/10 weeks been deprived of the physical face to face contact with their loved ones, no access to the outdoors and no communal activity. Whilst telephone communication and general use of video conferencing is no doubt a comfort for some, it does not compensate for physically seeing their loved ones in the flesh. For many, this in itself has a detrimental effect on their mental well-being, their cognitive and spatial abilities.
Consideration should now be given to easing some of these restrictions, not least in allowing residents some limited access to close family and/or friends. Being confined to one room, day in and out, would be detrimental to anyone’s health, more so for our frail and elderly care home residents.
I would like to see a system introduced whereby family can visit their loved ones in their care home. Obviously, safeguards would need to be in place to help protect care home residents and staff.
Like those who have already commented here, I have noticed a sharp decline in my mother’s health – low spirit/depression, disengagement, expressions of helplessness/hopelessness.
Surely it is possible to introduce a system that enables a family member or close friend to visit – even if only for a scheduled visit of 1hr a week on a nominated day? Ideas on how this could be done i.e. providing visitors with PPE have already been mentioned. This could be further enhanced by regular testing of visitors to ensure they are virus free before each visit. As we move towards test, trace, isolate surely this would be possible?
I, like others who have commented, believe that it is cruel and inhumane to continue depriving care residents of the comfort and support of their loved ones. Fine for a short time but not long term. Please find a way to enable this to change soon.
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